Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Hideous Hog meets Miss Mouse

I can't really imagine the Hideous Hog playing against the GIBs on BBO, can you?  But I was taking a short break the other evening and a perfect Hog hand came up (spots approximate):

♠KQT82 AKAJ654 ♣8 ♠62 QJT84273 ♣KT5

The Rueful Rabbit (actually just one of the GIBs) opened 1♠ and I, doing my best H.H. imitation, bid 1NT, forcing.  R.R. bid 3 and naturally I called 3NT.  3 would have allowed the Rabbit to bid spades again and we couldn't allow that, now, could we.  Fortunately, the Rabbit knows that it is against the law to take the Hog out of a 3NT contract.

The opening lead was a low club.  Prospects were somewhat dismal given that the ♣K was the only possible entry to my hearts (after unblocking).  But there was a ray of hope if RHO had the ♣A.  He did and I played low obviously.  On the club return, I again played low and pitched the A from dummy.  The defense persisted with another club (I think this GIB must have been the Walrus in disguise) and I was able to pitch the K while winning in my hand with the ♣K.  I now began to reel off six hearts (they split 3-2) and had every hope of making the contract (all would depend on the club distribution and the location of the ♠A).

It was, however, at this point that the best laid plans went awry.  True to form, the Hideous Hog is not an aficionado of online bridge.  A slight slip of the mouse caused the D7, the aptly named "beer card", to be played instead of a fourth heart (I had indeed just enjoyed an Ipswich IPA).

I never found out whether I would have made my contract as I decided to elect the only recourse for a mis-mouse against the GIBs: quit the game!

But I would love to have the opportunity to jettison Aces and Kings, à la Hog, in a real game.  Preferably, the Life Master pairs, but any flesh-and-blood game would do.

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